Hey, it's day

Thanks to school I have gotten a taste of the light. Here's what I have to say about my stay

A Cage Built of False Reason

I step up to the cage built of false reason.

The beast inside eyes me as I finger the latch

Slowly I unlock the cage and back away.

The beast steps out shaking his head from side to side

He stretches and steps forward

I step back

I fear this creature

The creature bares its teeth

They gleam in the night

Soon I’ve run out of room

I feel the edge of the cliff, a light breeze blows

I wonder if it would be simpler to jump

To join the rest down below

I look at the world

The animals there have it easy

They know not of the beast on the cliff

Ignorance is bliss

With a deep breath I step forward

I am ready to face the beast

Even in the darkness I can see it smile

Chills

A hopefully quick post.

I just wanted to comment on the chills. The chills (and the sudden feeling that I'm falling) are how I know I'm up on my cliff.


So even though I am under several blankets it give me great joy to tell you all

I am freezing.

Train of Thought

The train of thought has no tracks.

I just made the weirdest noise earlier. It was part snort and something else. It was like a breathing issue there.

Oh hey. It's 1:1am. Lovely.

Ever had one of those Truth time things or whatever? Yeah well, castle tours and drawbridges.
I had a better speech earlier. I forgot it.

Had a flying dream. Paper Dragons and City Tours.

If I just write what I'm thinking I could learn a bunch. In theroy.

Let's test it

I have to no ready holiday bangers frog the the rag and some setting part with out the hand ham quit the job at the store of no return but I can't I don't know why but I can not eat at a fine diner with no hate iI do not hate you or anything but I lie. I hate and it's possible. I have no why goat garnden if not then veggies on wheat or rye if cathers on home base then all belong to hand great if not then yes I can not accept that you are not a lizard but maybe I have problems that should be disscussed with a trained stunt car driver on a date which is not today.

I think I learned tons from that. Serious.

Someone else try it...I'll go again cuz that was kinda fun

Get out of my chess house not today or tommorrow but yes. Stressed are the ones that can not get a job if they can not then they can't and can is not an choice. If I had to I would but I don't so I won't and do not need to. I am not guilty of the crimes you say but many others that I can not speak of today.

Something with today and can not...hmm...Intresting.
I leave you with this:

There's a pause. There's always a pause.

In the cycle. In life. Right before I write this post.

The pause is when we are aware.

And the pause is when everything is truly tragic

Wise is he who knows he does not know

I know nothing.

About myself. About the world. About Life. About German Engineering.

I guess it's all for the best. If I pretended I knew everything I'd be a complete idiot.

I ask you, have you ever just say back and marveled about how much we really don't know?

It's astounding. Enough to make you think that we humans are idiots.

Well that's only a little true. We've come a long way sure but, to pretend that we know near everything is stupid. We don't really know why things work. And that bothers us.

So we mask it. Pretend that we know all there is to know, that we're the expert.

Remember Socrates anyone?

He realized how much we don't know, and it knocked him off his feet. But you know what he did? He got right back up and started asking questions. As he suspected no one knew the answers.

Well not knowing the answers made people feel dumb and NO ONE like to feel dumb. So as you could imagine the people got upset with Socs and well...the rest is history.

It's why some people cling to math.

We can say for certain that 2 and 2 make 4. (Unless you are Radiohead)

But we can't be sure that there is life after death or some other possibly religious possible offensive but controversial question.


On a absolutely unrelated consciously, note. I had an odd dream.

Yes I can dream. Just because I am awakened at night does not mean I can't dream.

The point is, I can hardly recall it. There was an overwhelming feeling of despair and hopelessness.

Oddly enough that feeling is in a lot of my dreams that I like.

That brings me to this:

When I was young and imagining things, playing pretend with myself. I liked to have my characters hit bottom. They had to be ready to lose all hope before they could climb back up.

In fact, I had a story that I would make up on my head every night with this theme: Character has the greatest bad luck ever.

What the greatest bad luck means is that this person would always end up in painful life or death things and always live.

One time they got hit by a bus. One time they fell off a cliff.

To make matters worse for them, she's practically famous for not dying so there are groups of people that are trying to kill her.

So I don't know what that surprisingly morbid side-note had to do with anything. But then again...

Wasn't that my point?

Nothing comes from Nothing

Nothing comes from nothing.

This blog comes from me. Why? Good question. This is the blog I made for the creature of the night. It's the part of me that nearly never sees the light of day.

This blog helps these thoughts show in the daylight. While the mask slips back on and the questions repressed, this stays here. A waving flag on the top of the cliff

Though I stay hidden it screams

"I am here"

I didn't think that this side of me existed. But it became obvious after too long. A cheery joker in the day. Yes that's me, If I am not smiling something must be wrong.

Well. That isn't really me
That person is Thunderbird. I am not her.

I guess it would be best to call me Anaz (AH-naz) Similar to Anasazi the group of people who live along to cliffs.

I should try my best to explain my metaphoric cliff. This may get you no where, but it's a start

Up Here on my Cliff, I see Everyone but Myself

Up here on my cliff

It’s cold

High up

I see everyone but myself

That’s absurd

The view here is blurred

I can’t really see

I’m not truly free

I want to know me

But I don’t want to see

It could be wrong

Maybe I misheard the song

And most of all

The fear of a fall

The fortress collapsing in a mound

But never makes a sound

I came here to be free

I came here to know me

If only this cliff were that easy

If only this cliff weren’t so breezy

Yet in a twisted way

I understand everything that I say

And through those words

I know I

I can’t even begin to explain why.

Even though what I learn

Could be not true

I’ll still come here

If only for the view